As Australia marks National Palliative Care Week, this guest post from Cathy Strachan, Dementia and Palliative Care Specialist at Whiddon, highlights the critical importance of compassionate, person-centred end-of-life care across the aged care sector. Drawing on her extensive experience and advocacy in palliative care, Cathy explores the challenges facing providers, families and older Australians, while reinforcing the need for greater awareness, planning and support to ensure every person can age and die with dignity.
Recently, a widowed family friend asked me what she needed to do to start planning for a move into residential aged care. I teased her gently, “Worrying about dying just because you’re 80 now?” However, her concern was very real. She wanted to understand what happens if she can no longer care for herself.
Our conversation covered practical matters, where she might live, her Will, Power of Attorney and Enduring Guardianship. Although what mattered most was something far more personal. We bridged into conversation around what her end of life might look like, and what a “good death” would mean for her.
I explained she didn’t need all the answers immediately, but starting the conversation with her GP could reduce fear and confusion, while helping her complete an Advance Care Directive so her preferences are formally recorded. She booked the appointment the next day.
When she later told me the receptionist wasn’t familiar with the conversation she was trying to have, I was struck by a bigger question. In 2026, why are these conversations still so unfamiliar in our healthcare system? Or is it that we avoid them because they make death feel too real?
Why we avoid the conversation that matters most
Most people avoid talking about death because it feels confronting. But avoidance often increases fear and emotional burden for families at the exact moment they need clarity most.
I believe starting the conversation early is the ultimate act of care. It reduces uncertainty and allows families to focus on connection rather than crisis decision-making.
We cannot change the outcome of a life-limiting illness, but we can shape the experience with dignity, comfort and meaning.
A “good death” is not one thing
One of the most important misunderstandings I see in palliative care is the idea that there is a single definition of a “good death”. In reality, it is as individual as a life well lived.
For some, it is being pain-free. For others, it is having their loved one’s present, hearing familiar music, or being in a place that feels like home. Without these conversations, we risk focusing only on clinical care and missing the person entirely.
As my friend put it plainly: “I don’t want to be a vegetable!” It’s blunt, but it captures exactly what advance care planning is about. It’s about knowing what matters to the person, not just what’s medically possible.
Palliative care should never be viewed as a purely clinical process. It is an extension of a person’s life story, shaped by their identity, culture, relationships and values. This is consistently demonstrated at Whiddon through our Relationship-Based Care Model, enabling carers to understand the person deeply and, in palliative care, to honour their final wishes.
Grief begins long before loss
Grief is also often misunderstood as something that begins after death. Many families experience anticipatory grief for months or even years beforehand.
This period can be emotionally complex, marked by sadness, anxiety, relief, and everything in between. Supporting families through this stage means we must move away from clichés and instead create space for honest, non-judgemental conversation. Sometimes the most powerful support is simply listening.
The importance of preparation, not prediction
Advance care planning is often misunderstood as something to be done late in life or during a health crisis. In truth, it is an ongoing process, one that allows people to express their values, preferences and wishes long before they are needed.
Doing this early ensures that families are not left guessing in moments of emotional distress. It also provides reassurance that decisions being made reflect what the person would have wanted.
This National Palliative Care Week encourages Australians to “Start the conversation early”, it is a timely reminder that these discussions are not about giving up hope, they are about giving people dignity, choice and peace of mind.
Caring for someone at the end of their life is a profound privilege, one that calls for comfort, compassion and meaning at every stage.
Perhaps the question we need to ask is not why we talk about death, but why we wait so long to do so?
Because in many cases, the “hardest conversation” is also the most compassionate one we can have.
